7. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.
You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?
7. Ha, journalism. Well, first, no one cares about the president. Sorry, but you'll be okay old man, lots of people go through bad times. Theres a vice president for a reason (and I hate tabloids, even of important people - quote of the day: "Religion is just one big tabloid").
OBVIOUSLY this would be played as a double feature. Something like "Mythical beasts come in twos!" and I would report info about how the Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch were found (reported in alphabetical order, so no discrimination over which is more famous). The president will be on like page 4 or something, where the people who care can read about him (or her omg! covering my generalizations for feminists). The Loch Ness Monster is a bigger catch in my opinion however. I mean gorillas exist, but huge sea snakes?
The Sasquatch problem would have more information, and therefore be a bigger story. Big sea-creatures are found everyday. Besides, what's even better, is that the President has announced that the Sasquatch has CANCER! What better story then Sasquatch with cancer! Does the Loch Ness Monster have cancer? No. Horrid things are more interesting news.
ReplyDeleteWhat a comment on society that is, that horrid things are more interesting news. It reminds me of a movie I watched with Jodie Foster in it about a kid who was really smart, but was really compassionate too somehow. He would have stomach ulcers because of world news - tsunamis killing hundreds of people and stuff, would stress him out so much. And he could do crazy math problems in his head. He was seven years old. Funny how I can't remember more important things than that, but that memory will be latched in my head forever.
ReplyDeleteThe cancer is modifying the question! How would we know it had cancer anyway? Did we catch it?